argh I'm a Pirate!
by ZweI The Penguin With a Pen
Summary: A morning in the dorm with Team SSSN! Sun x Neptune and Scarlet x Sage.


Only one thing could ever annoy Scarlet in regards to Sage Ayana... his abs took up most of their bed in this itty-bitty dorm room. Dust, his partner had some glorious abs; perfectly chiseled as though they were sculpted from stone. Added to that his darkly tanned skin and the spiny green hair that Scarlet loved so much... Scarlet could still not believe he'd snagged such an Adonis.

A tad more space in their bed would certainly be lovely, though.

"Rise and shine, love. Glynda's having sparring matches today, and I'd like a shot at roughing someone up." Scarlet told his partner, who made no motion at all. Sage always did sleep like a brick. He rubbed the larger boy's shoulders with both hands, planting soft kisses on Sage's shoulder blades. He nibbled a time or two before the green-hair stirred. Sage grinned at his most favorite redhead, tousling his wavy red hair with one hand.

"I'm thinking breakfast first, babes. Shall I scrape us up some waffles?" His thick baritone voice rang out in Scarlet's ears, soothing his soul with its dulcet tones. Also, waffles sounded more than perfect.

"Already cooked, bros!" Neptune called from the kitchen slash dining room slash EAT HERE SO YOU DON'T HAVE FOOD ALL OVER THE DORM area. "A mountain of waffles and some blazed sausages this morning."

"Neptune, you'll make someone a wonderful partner some day. Don't hold it against me if I call you the wife when that happens." Sage nicked, the blue-haired boy snickering.

"Wife, husband, the greatest lover in all the land... It's all the same, really." Neptune fired back as Sun appeared, whipping his tail around his favorite man's waist.

"Yeah, Sage, what if _I_ wanted to be the wife?" The Faunus joked, Scarlet laughing uncontrollably.

"You're too much of a _dude_ , Sun. You leave dishes piled up, you can't cook to save your life, and you're always wolf-whistling at Neptune when he walks away from you. You'd totally be the husband if you subscribed to that system of nomenclature."

"No big words before breakfast, please. Nep and I were up late again, and I'm not awake enough to think." Sun complained, even though he knew precisely what Scarlet had said.

"Yeah, it sounded like he was jabbing something with his trident for _quite a while_..." Sage chimed in, his boyfriend laughing as Neptune's face turned ten shades of red. Sun only grinned; after all, he _did_ enjoy Neptune's trident. Neptune was dedicated to Sun's staff as well.

"As if you could really hear us. You two were crossing swords so loudly I'm surprised no one called in a noise complaint!" Neptune retorted, Scarlet and Sage chortling at the comment.

"What? I become enthralled when his cutlass curves my way, and perhaps someone outside these walls might like to hear the songs of our love!" Sage jabbed, Scarlet blushing worse than Neptune had. His eyes turned to blank circles at his boyfriend's words. He preferred to keep the pillow play between them if he could, though it was tough when Sage brought out The Greatsword. Scarlet could get pretty loud when they were together.

"It's tough to be quiet when you're having that much fun, y'know..." The redhead admitted sheepishly. Sun smiled.

"Aww, don't be embarrassed about it! We're all men here. LET THE GAY FLOW THROUGH YA!"

"Oh, I've got plenty of that. I just don't find our pillow play to be decent breakfast conversation."

"But _theirs_ is? Really, Snack Cakes?" Sage jabbed, pretending to be serious. Scarlet's face turned an even darker red, almost the color for which he was named. Neptune patted a hand on the redhead's shoulder.

"He just can't take the same jokes he dishes, Sage."

"Oh I know, I just like to make him blush. It's adorable." Sage ruffled Scarlet's hair again, Scarlet grimacing at them all.

"What happened to breakfast? I hope you aren't setting the dorm on fire!" Scarlet hopped up from the table and made for the stove, Neptune chasing after him with the speed of a distressed ninja.

"STAY OUT OF MY KITCHEN!" Sage and Sun looked at one another, smiling and shaking their heads.

"How'd we get so lucky?" Sun asked aloud.

"We'll probably never know..." Sage returned, soon leaving the table to go pull his boyfriend and his teammate apart before they killed one another.

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 **((A/N: As much as I love Team SSSN, I imagine that hanging out with them would be an endless stream of crotch humor and bro-ness. XD ))**


End file.
